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| o6.1o.o9 wow so the school year has ended for us seniors and im kinda excited for my new life to begin. all this time ive been waiting for high school to end especially this year because there has been soo much things happening that was stressing me over the year and now the time has come-OFFICIALLY GRADUATING IN ONE WEEK!(: i can proudly say i was a true PANTHER! ill never forget the moments i had wit everyone.recap...freshman year-i cant really remember every lil detail but it wasnt the brightest year and wasnt much fun but sophomore year and junior year was a blast and i would not change it for nething.senior year sucked a lot but i still had happy moments but most of my senior year suked.its not the way i wanted to remember my senior year but i know i still had fun and made a good last impression in everybody(kind of LOL)in the beginning of this year i was wanting my senior year to be gone.i wanted to leave and graduate...well look at me now the time has come and graduation is coming in a blink of an eye.for the first 2-3 months there was soo much drama wit a friend and sadly im not able to be her friend nemore.after winterbreak there was winterball and prom and all these lovely dances but none of them was a memorable time.i didnt have much fun at winterball&neither did i at prom. i didnt like my birthday week or i can just say i didnt like february at all this year.i can say ive been an emotional mess up until may. i cried and cried until i had no more tears but it was a good experience because i learned my lesson through everything and im glad i learned it(: as the year came to an end...more drama happened but i never explained it to neone. this drama is something really unexpected and im glad i found out through one of my good friends because i learned who my true friends are and whose trustworthy. my whole high school life has been a good experience and i cant wait to start my college life in 3 months(: ill have the best summer ever(: friends will be tested and boys will be boys since almost every boy is the same. through my whole high school i learned many things and learned that no one can be trusted whether it is a friend or a bf/gf. theres no one to trust in this world and enemies shall be looked at closely.i learned to not procrastinate soo much cus college will suk if that happens&partying is not always the best ding to do after relieving stress.through the years, i feel like my life at rhs was a great experience and i am glad i went through it and found some friends that were true.some ppl can be really conniving and do stoopid things but the ones who really care would earn the trust and respect. at one point especially this year i truly learned that some ppl just take advantage of me and dink im some weak lil girl who can be run over by backstabbing me&screwing me over.some ppl just use me and i feel soo stoopid because i do not know until the end or a good friend has to tell it to me.high school is full of drama and i know college will be totally different&whatever happens at rhs stays at rhs and hopefully nothing at rhs will follow me through college because i want to move on and start my new chapter with new ppl that i will cherish and care for and hopefully whatever happens it will not be a repeat of this year.word of advice for u underclassmens: cherish every moment you have in high school bbecause time will fly and u will end up checking out of hs before u know it. high school for me has ended and graduation is coming up&i am ready to let all my tears come out on that day and take all the pictures i can because it is a one time thing. i will truly miss everyone except dumb&dumber&dumbest. i wish everyone the best of luck in college and in the future. all i can say is seniors we did it!!! 09 BABYYY!!!(: 09 IS OH SOO FIONE AND WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST CLASS EVER! though we do not have much spirit LOL bye to all you seniors and i will miss you guys! i will truly miss the following: my two sisters ngoc&fiona(JNF FOREVER!);KARENVANN!;lillyann;darren(though he is a gaucho wit me :]);dunant(SB IS BETTER);danny;jackson;jenn;thuy;angieSUN;kathleen;jimmy;lisa;and mucho more | | |
| hmm so im back blogging again bout my life. well a lot of shit has happened throughout the past few months and the worst part of it is i had to find out some shady ass shit this weekend that im sooo pissed off bout that i feel like breaking down. some ppl can be so shady and so fukin conniving that i just wanna punch them in the face. wat suks the most is i had to find things out through a friend of mine that i barely even talk to and during these few months i found out some stuff and i basically sat myself at home putting puzzle pieces together from all the shit i heard. now that i realize, in this world...i cannot trust a lot of ppl. i put all my trust and care towards some ppl and they just LOVE taking advantage of it. i feel like i got backstabbed by some ppl that i can never ever for the rest of my life ever trust again. i lost complete trust in these ppl and i can never look at these ppl the same way nemore.i dont even know wat to do nemore. i dont even know how all this happened but it did and im soo furious that none of them had balls to tell me all this. instead i had to find shit out through another person which is worse than finding it out through them. im at a lost of words. i cant seem to know wat to do nemore and all i feel like needing is therapy or even a psychologist. i cant even speak correctly nemore cus of all the stuff im listening to and hearing from. ugh im sooo MAD and FURIOUS and PISSED OFF to the point where i feel like breaking down. >.< | | |
| so im back again blogging bout my life...so in the span of just one month...everything has changed. i thought i was able to find myself and be happy again and not go back down the hole and be emotional but apparently that has changed.so one month ago i was finally having fun and being myself and getting out there.ive been talkin to him and been going out wit him but everythings been crashing down on me..so it all started with this whole prom ding and ever since that whole problem everything just went bloop.not gonna explain wat happened but yea.so were officially done and somehow i seemed relieved but at the same time was so sad and started balling my eyes out and crying for at least 30 minutes.i wanted to stop crying but somehow my tears kept coming down. i guess its cus i seemed to have finally found myself wit him but ever since everythings been crashing down on me i knew i was going back to my emotional fuked up self again and cant find myself ever again.this is the 2nd time where i got hurt in the span of one year.this whole senior year for me has been sucking cus of boy drama. i never knew i can possibly hate boys so much cus of the way they act and the way they choose to believe things that arent true.at first i thought i just needed to get over one person but now i have to get over two.it just suks that ive been hurt two times in one year. thats the whole reason why i give up on guys for good cus i hate being hurt. i finally dink that im able to find a nice guy out there and bam it turns out that it wasnt even one of them cus i ended up getting hurt.i hate boys.boys stink and i dont even know why they exist in this world. never knew i could possibly throw my heart out there and end up getting it squashed like an ant.life suks. or maybe its just boys suk. i was suppose to be finishing my hw but i cant since im so distracted and cant even dink rite now cus all of this shit has caused me to go back to some emotional lil mtf.i never thought i would possibly come to this conclusion just cus of PROM!out of all things i fight wit it just had to be prom.like are u kidding me?i rather fight wit somthing small rather than something big.i feel like somebody has taken my heart inside my body and tore it up and smashed it into pieces.i give so much out there and let my guard down soo bad(stoopid mistake)and in the end i get a gift of getting hurt.ive been a total mess because of all this.i dont even know if im able to go back into my happy lil self nemore cus i dont dink i ever can or maybe just up to this year.at this point i just need a lot of comfort from my closest friends.at this point i know how it feels to get hurt twice in a freakin year so im deciding to change the way i react to everything.i dink from now on imma be a bitch and stay a bitch whether ppl like it or not cus im tired of being super nice and end up getting hurt.its just something i dont want to face nemore.i dink out of my whole life ive been hurt a total of 4 times(record!). im just done dealing wit boys for the rest of the year so if theres a guy in the picture im not even care so much bout him cus im not gonna try to be close and end up squashing my heart again.its mistakes after mistakes and im just done wit these mistakes.like dunant said "i need a man, not a boy" all the boys ive got to know have been boys and their not mature enough to be a man except for one of them.other than that their all boys and it will take them a long time to realize wat they have done.i give and give so much and they just take and take and never give back and end up squashing everything.this is seriously gonna take time for me to get over.now its time for me to get over two guys instead of one.all i have to say is..boys stink and they need a reality check for girls cus grls deserve so much better and once boys fuk wit grls,then us grls will fuk wit u back(not literally).can never look at these ppl the same way nemore and the only thing i can do is move the fuk on cus there not worth my time caring for.i deserve so much better and dont need ne of them to screw wit my heart.its been screwed multiple times and im done having my heart being squashed constantly.done with boys for good.never going back to them. | | |
| hmm so im back blogging and i just have to say...FML and shoot me now please. i do not want to live nemore because of all the drama and other shit going on in my life. i have so much shit on my mind rite now that i feel like imma explode. i feel like my buttons are being pushed around as if its a freakin joke. this week my buttons has been pushed around to the point where if it gets pushed ne harder imma freakin explode in anger to the point where i will shoot myself(i may seem like i wont do it but there are knives at home that i can use and a better ding is i can just go up my house roof). i have such a low tolerance level for so many things rite now and it just makes my tolerance level even lower wen my buttons are pushed. i thought this week would go by nicely and fresh but no the past two days have been horrible and my brain is bout to pop. theres so many things wrong wit me. the last time i remember i was like this was 21809 and i remember that clearly for some strange reason. ive been crying and being so angry and im at a point where i just really really want to get out of here before my buttons get popped and i explode like a freakin volcano. so many shit on my mind and so many shit i have to do before skool ends and im on the verge of breakin down super hard and letting out my anger by punching "someone" in the face. i have an urge to do some harmful things to certain people and its not going to be pretty. i just want my life to be over rite now rite here so i dont have to deal wit all the bs thats been thrown at me and making my tolerance level super low. people freakin take advantage of me and dink that shit is a fukin joke but its not. just suks to know that some people have no fukin brain and no heart for nething thats been happening. again. please shoot me now before my tolerance level goes super low and i end up shooting myself or even jump off a freakin roof. lots of shit going on and im ready to bleed to death and die rite here rite now. die in pain and bleed to death so please shoot me now because i do not need to live nemore. better yet, i hope that shit comes true so i really know my life is over. being mad and frustrated do not mix. so please shoot me now before i go suicidal....BOOM!
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| oh wow wen was the last time i blogged here?well i guess not too long ago but let me see wat has been going on from there? well i just want hs to be over cus im tired of all the bs and drama thats been going on.hs is full of fukin drama and im tired of it. i wanna go to sb already and start my new chapter there cus i know for a fact there WONT be as much drama as here at rhs. its time for me to leave hs and not deal wit nething nemore. im tired of ppl mentioning shit to me. im tired of all the drama and all the feelings ive been feeling bout ppl and im just ready to leave so i can start my new chapter. "the end of the beginning" i need to be independent and be on my own to make my own decisions because i made some fuked up decisions that lead to the stuff im going through rite now. over the summer i did some fuked up shit that i never knew i would possibly do and now that the years been going on my decision from the summmer has fuked me over to make me go through more shit and im just tired of it. whatever decision im making for this please let it come true cus im ready to not live nemore. seriously ive thought bout all the shit thats been happening for the past year and i realized why im like this. its because of one decision that i made over the summer and that lead to everything back in january and up to now. i find out some fuked up things and i just cant wait to leave hs. yea i know it will be sad and depressing to leave this soon but i thought bout it and this year wasnt a fun year for me to start off with neways. i had drama to deal wit and dealing with drama is not fun so i knew this stoopid drama will go through the rest of the year. ppl keep talkin bout him/her and im just sick of it. the only way i can avoid this is move on with my new chapter in sb cus i know i wouldnt have to deal wit it nemore and if these ppl pop up again then ill know how to handle it but here at rhs i dont even know how to handle it so i just wanna leave. i feel so fukin weak here at rhs and i just needa be strong once college hits. its time for me to go and be independent on my own and not deal wit drama cus this shit is just ridiculous and nothing can be fixed. all my worse nightmares better come true because if it doesnt then imma cry. these past couple of months has led me to be soo negative on dings. like prom...i know shit is going to happen with him. i just know it. i know imma freak out and blow up and cry. i just know it. why?cus im not totally over "it." its sad but its hard and most will say its easy but if u knew bout "it" then its not that easy. trust. the only ppl that know everything bout "it" are LC&ANT&JLO&WP. everything is just so hard and im ready to leave. i know hes leaving too and i dink its just time for me to say my last goodbye and hope for the best because it doesnt seem like were gonna be friends again neways. wow realized that some boys do suk. wahtever its life. hmm so lets see today i found out where prom was! LOL the place is super duper nice! the thought of prom just makes me sick now since i know imma freak out wen i see him and her. ugh the thought of skool just makes me sick now :[ well whatevers i hope everything works out for the better and left that way cus everything has to stay that way and left at rhs and not be dragged to college...hmm so the next 3 months i will be forking out $700 total for everything thats happening...prom to graduation. wow that seems like a lot but i know imma end up forking out more maybe i say...$1000? damn thats a lot! LOL hmm skirball cultural center? at first i thought it was some building where were learning bout cultures or something lol the name skirball sounds like WINTER! haha well i heard its near the ocean and super cold and near calibasas(where the kardashians live! LOL) and past beverly hills and santa monica near west hollywood. drive seems far bout uno hr? plus traffic. wow im excited now! but not excited to see some ppl that i dislike :[ well hey its my last year to see these ugly ppl and then i dont have to see ne of them nemore YAY! lol :] thats one good ding bout hs! lol no more ugly ppl that i ahve to see(: hmm well nhungs bday is coming up and gotta plan that stuff and fork out at least $100 or maybe more cus of her present&floaties&dippin`dots(code names for stuff so nhung wouldnt know) and then theres prom and fork out at least $500. wow and more other stuff in april thats coming that i gotta fork out more cash! OH! spring break! yay! well time to go prom shopping....and i will be back to update on whatever problems i have. the only ding i know is i want freakin hs to be over RITE NOW! god damn. so done wit hs with all the freakin drama and all the feelings that ive been having. done done done must go now! tired of all the shit thats been going on this year and im ready to leave. ugh i wanna leaveeeeeee already! stoopid 3 more fukin months is long! damn it. on the bright side grad nite is at DISNEYLAND! weee stoopid rumors said it was at SIX FLAGS! if it was i wouldnt have gone cus its not "magical" lol yea i need the whole "magical" theme in order for me to go(: well be back laters to update as of now....i wanna leave hs rite fukin now cus im done with everything. everything fukin lil ding. im done! d-o-n-e DONE! ugh
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